I'm a quitter

I quit Weight Watchers. Again.

I started in February after finally getting SO convicted on how my weight was impacting my health. I was gung ho. I subscribed to WW magazine, tracked my points online. Mourned the foods that I was no longer able to eat (though with WW there's nothing you can't eat..you just have to make the points work.)

The weight started to come off. All in all I lost 19 lbs. I can fit into clothes I haven't worn for a while and feel more comfortable in my skin.

And then life happened.. In June we had a steady stream of visitors until Ben's birthday. I tried my best to eat healthy when we went out. But I can't avoid the desserts!

Eating is such a struggle for me. I love the comfort of something that tastes good. I love everything about food..the smell, the taste, the texture. I even love grocery shopping. There's something about the smell of the store..the searching the aisles for new items.

I also love cooking, which I must have inherited from my father. It's the only "crafty" thing I can do. I don't make anything fancy, but I don't have too many complaints from my husband. I have made a few clunkers..but that's part of the fun. My recipes board on Pinterest is overflowing with things I'd like to make (but probably never will get around to doing them).

I feel like when I have a hard day having something decadent is a reward earned. I realize that this is a completely unhealthy view of food, but I don't know how to change it. I've resigned that I will never be one of those people (like my husband) that sees food as only fuel.

It's my vice. I don't smoke, do drugs and rarely drink anymore.

So after a full month of avoiding my scale, or even worse..stepping on it with one eye covered..I've given up. I just don't have the mojo to keep counting points. I want to. I need to. I just feel like all my energy right now if being funneled into other things (like running from work to therapy appointments and wrestling a kid to get him to brush his teeth).

So I'm publicly telling you that I'm a quitter. Maybe the embarassement of it all will be enough to get me going again. Maybe I'll get around to it next month.

If you have any low fat recipes..please feel free to share them with me! Or maybe if you do any workout videos on Netflix that wont kill a really out of shape person..please let me know what they are.