No day off goes unpunished

I had a fairly relaxing weekend. Ben is still having Pica issues. No newspaper/magazine/or Trader Joe's bag is safe in my house. If only I could figure out a way to make paper out of fruit and vegetables....

I had Monday off and spent part of the day doing things I wanted to do without having to have a child in tow. I started off with a teeth cleaning (that was a had to, not a want to), but still a pleasant experience at a new office. Then I was off to Kohls where I finally spent some of the gift cards that had been burning a hole in my pocket since Christmas. And finally I was off to get a long needed pedicure. Even in the winter, I want to have pretty toes! Then I had to scoot off to pick Ben up for his dual therapy appointments. I wish I could say those went smoothly, but he had a small tantrum during OT. 

Tuesday I decided to take off from work since I had to take Ben to his dental appointment. I have to say we have the world's nicest dentist. She pushes Ben to get done what she needs, but not so far to completely traumatize him. But on the way to the cleaning room he "went boneless" (those of you with kids know what that means) and I had to physically lift 50 lbs of dead writhing weight up onto the table. And then we had two assistants and myself holding him down while she examined his teeth and put a fluoride treatment on them. Someday I'm hoping he'll just relax and let her do what she needs to get done so we can avoid an exam under anesthesia. 

The yuckiest part of the day occurred at home though. We have been trying hard to potty train. Right now we're using the "positive practices" method where he gets an Oreo whenever he goes. So we got all caught up in getting hands washed, new pull up on and getting his treat. However, we forgot the step of flushing the toilet...

Later on I'm making Ben dinner and I heard him in the bathroom making noise. I walk in there only to find all the "water" in the toilet was on the floor and what was he using to get the water out?? My favorite umbrella!! He was stirring his pee water with the umbrella *sigh* So out comes the mop bucket and I mopped the bathroom floor. And since I had the mop out..I decided it was time to give the kitchen floors a good scrubbing. 

So much for pampering myself. My arms are definitely hurting this morning. I can't figure out if it's from the dental chair wrestling..or the mopping. Never a dull day in our house. 

Sleep Deprivation

I am majorly suffering from lack of sleep. Ben's internal clock needs to be reset but none of us seem to know how. The time change last week has made it even worse.

School seems to be wiping Ben out majorly. Before he would go to bed around 9 pm and would sleep until at least 5 am. I can function fairly well after that time, so I didn't complain (well, not too much). I hear other parents talking about how their kids love to sleep, or how they have trouble waking them up. I envy those people.  I may even loathe their well rested selves be jealous.

We have tried everything. Naps during the day to keep him awake later. Nope, he just wakes up happily after 7 hrs wide awake anywhere from 315-430 am. We've done Melatonin. But that wont work because it's not the getting to sleep that's the problem..it's the staying asleep that's it.

Last night I even bought one of those nifty sound machines. You know the kind that sound like anything from a thunderstorm, to a babbling brook (this would seriously make me have to pee), to the not so peaceful sound of a summer night. We chose the white noise setting. We live a mile or so from train tracks and though I cannot hear them, my Mom can when she visits, and she thinks they might be waking Ben up.

No such luck last night. Ben came bounding down the hall at 315 am, bright eyed and bushy tailed. I put him back in bed and told him it was way too early and he should go back to sleep. Apparently, that concept was lost on him. I have even laid in his twin bed with him. To which he looks at me adoringly and wants to cuddle and roll around continuously. You'd think this would make me melt into a puddle of lovey, but at 315 nothing  can crack through the haze.

I talked to his doctor about it yesterday trying to brainstorm, but at the end she just told me that she was really sorry for me (ha!) and right now there isn't a solution.

So if you see me out and I look a little dazed and confused..I am. I had trouble counting out change to pay for my soda at the gas station this morning. Just bare with me..I'll get it together. Eventually.

This was taken on the weekend of the Mom's retreat that I went to. I had sleep this weekend. Oh yeah..and professional makeup done. I can look like this. Maybe someday when I sleep again I will! I pray I don't have to wait until next November for the next retreat to get it!

Catching Up

For the longest time I felt that I didn't have anything to write. But mostly it's because there's just been a lot of little things going on. Not really anything massively big..but tons of things to take my attention away from writing anything of significance. Not that this is going to be ground breaking..but just trying to fill in the gap from the close of summer until now.

This summer I had the joy of finding out my gall bladder was going kaput. It constantly felt like I had a rock or balloon in my side, accompanied by the occasional horrible pains. I finally got myself to see the Dr. Then to the surgeon and finally had it removed at the beginning of the month. To be honest, after the first couple days it really wasn't that bad. I had originally planned to recoup at home..alone. But in a moment of panic I asked my Mom to come and help me convalesce. I'm really glad I did. It was nice to have someone help with Ben and also to deliver me food and beverages so I could lay like a lump in bed for the first day or so.

What was worse though was I broke out in hives from my neck to my chest. They also moved onto my arms and a few on my back. So I'm currently on every antihistamine under the sun, got a steroid injection and slather myself in steroid cream. I'm hoping to someday stop itching and stinging. The current theory to why this happened was that surgery is a trauma, and my body went into attack mode. Because of my big family history of autoimmune disorders, she ran a ton of blood work as well and we're waiting for results. (Not too worried about this). This is what I looked like for two days :

Ben's been doing great. We're still working on adjusting the meds we started at the beginning of last month. They don't really seem to be doing too much, but it's really too soon to tell. We tried upping the amount once and it just knocked him out. The child that never sat still went to sleep for 2 hrs about an hour after taking them. Not good. Trial and error. I have noticed he hasn't been obsessively hitting me as much.

We hit the potty training pretty hard in the last few weeks. Ben is so good about going when you put him on there. However, he will still never tell you when he has to go. One thing at a time, right?

We also finally made the decision to put him in the Special Needs class at church. I'm so thankful we go to a church that can provide that for us. We were so hesitant because we wanted to keep him in the regular class as much as we could. But honestly, it wasn't fair to Ben, the teachers or the other kids. So now he's in a room where people do more than just follow him around, try to get him to sit for periods of time that he just can't, and we don't get called out of the service every week. The people really love him in there. He has fun and no one freaks out when he takes off his shoes for the millionth time, or eats part of the lesson.

Halloween is coming up and Ben is fit to be tied. Every day he talks about trick-or-treating. This is the first year that I can tell he's really truly stoked about a holiday. He loves his costume and he put it on for my parents so they could see it before they went back to AZ. I dare say that he's the cutest pirate ever!

I cannot wait for Christmas this year!! Here's hoping I'll post again before then!

I'm sad summer is coming to a close

This summer is coming to a close. I'm a bit melancholy about it. It feels like it literally just started. Most of the summer seemed too hot...too wet..too buggy to really do anything fun outside. Now that it doesn't feel like we'll melt everytime we go outside we can really enjoy it!

This weekend we enjoyed popsicles on the porch. I love that he will happily sit beside me as I talk to him while he enjoys the sweet coldness.

I'm going to miss this in the winter!!

It's that time of year again...

Time to start planning Ben's Halloween costume. He LOVES the thought of Halloween. He knows that every year he gets to hold the orange pumpkin bucket and people randomly throw candy in it. (I love it because I'm a sugar-holic and I weed through the candy I "know he wont like/can't eat". )

Last year was a struggle to find a costume. You can't put Ben in anything that requires a hood or a hat. He wore his hat briefly last year but only because his hands were so busy with the candy bucket that he didn't seem to mind so much. You also cannot have a mask or require any paint to be put on his face. Two years ago I made him into Mickey Mouse and at the end of the night he had black makeup smeared across his face. They no longer looked like whiskers.

From Halloween 2010 with Ben's cousins.

 Ignore the man hiding behind him..it's hard to get him to stand still. 

The few minutes the hat was actually worn...

I'm back on the hunt for this years costume. The choices are limited, and honestly, I've thought about him re-wearing the Marine costume because it still fits and only people in Arizona really saw him in it and we'll be in Kentucky for this years festivities. 

But for your viewing pleasure I've found a few other costumes on Amazon that I found hilarious and would NEVER be able to get on Ben subject my child to wear. 

Everyone loves a super hero! Getting Ben in this costume would involved tranquilizers (for both of us). 

My husband would be all over this one. I really hope that's not a real knife. 

Everyone loves a patriotic boy! Can you imagine putting a child with major sensory issues in a wig and 3 piece suit??  Plus it's 69.99! I think he actually looks a little pissed in this outfit. 

No child picked out this costume. You know his parents are totally behind this. I would totally pay to see this. 

I'm a quitter

I quit Weight Watchers. Again.

I started in February after finally getting SO convicted on how my weight was impacting my health. I was gung ho. I subscribed to WW magazine, tracked my points online. Mourned the foods that I was no longer able to eat (though with WW there's nothing you can't eat..you just have to make the points work.)

The weight started to come off. All in all I lost 19 lbs. I can fit into clothes I haven't worn for a while and feel more comfortable in my skin.

And then life happened.. In June we had a steady stream of visitors until Ben's birthday. I tried my best to eat healthy when we went out. But I can't avoid the desserts!

Eating is such a struggle for me. I love the comfort of something that tastes good. I love everything about food..the smell, the taste, the texture. I even love grocery shopping. There's something about the smell of the store..the searching the aisles for new items.

I also love cooking, which I must have inherited from my father. It's the only "crafty" thing I can do. I don't make anything fancy, but I don't have too many complaints from my husband. I have made a few clunkers..but that's part of the fun. My recipes board on Pinterest is overflowing with things I'd like to make (but probably never will get around to doing them).

I feel like when I have a hard day having something decadent is a reward earned. I realize that this is a completely unhealthy view of food, but I don't know how to change it. I've resigned that I will never be one of those people (like my husband) that sees food as only fuel.

It's my vice. I don't smoke, do drugs and rarely drink anymore.

So after a full month of avoiding my scale, or even worse..stepping on it with one eye covered..I've given up. I just don't have the mojo to keep counting points. I want to. I need to. I just feel like all my energy right now if being funneled into other things (like running from work to therapy appointments and wrestling a kid to get him to brush his teeth).

So I'm publicly telling you that I'm a quitter. Maybe the embarassement of it all will be enough to get me going again. Maybe I'll get around to it next month.

If you have any low fat recipes..please feel free to share them with me! Or maybe if you do any workout videos on Netflix that wont kill a really out of shape person..please let me know what they are.

I'm on overload

We have had SO much going on since Ben started school. Last week finished up week 3 of Kindergarten, and it was the first week that he made it through an entire week of school without coming home sick. (but just barely). He has been a sponge for every free floating bacteria that has been around.

Week 1- he had the stomach flu. He woke up crying (which is not normal) and like a fool I gave him juice even after he first refused it. Thankfully he had it come back up before we took him to school.

Week 2- still not feeling great. Came home early that Friday because he wasn't eating and was listless. I got home and he instantly perked up and became and eating machine. I think he played me.

Week 3- voice started going and could tell that he was really really phleggmy. Behavior has been off the charts. I made the hard call of giving him Bromfed to ease the congestion, but it made him irritable and I got hit *A LOT* . He would be happily watching the Ipad, and then dart across the room just to hit me and then return back to the ipad. I'm pretty sure this was an attention seeking behavior. I'm not even sure what I could have done more. By the end of last night he'd lost the privilege to play with any of his trains and the use of the ipad. He also had a horrible transition from his ST to his OT. She's a wonderful lady with the patience of Job (thank God). But at one point he hit her in the face. I can't tell you how mortifying that is. And it took every ounce of my being to not jerk him out of there and get swiftly spanked.

Let's hope week 4 starts out a little better. I did warn his teacher about the aggression. And thankfully I'm meeting with his behavioral therapist today to see what more we can do.

He's such a sweet child most of the time. But I'm sure that being sick, and not being able to communicate how you feel..your wants..your needs has got to be incredibly frustrating!!

Somehow I've managed to not get sick Oh lord I've probably just cursed us!  I just want us to get into a more normal routine. Maybe this will be our week!  And if not..we'll just keep working til it is..that's all I can do, right??