Real Conversations

This is an actual conversation I had this week with someone who actually works in the public school system.

Me:  I need to set up aftercare for my son. He's starting Kindergarten this fall.
Head of the program: OK...well you have to fill out the paperwork online.
Me: He is going to be in the special needs/complex needs program. Does that make any difference?
<big pause>
HOTP: So..uh..what's wrong with him? Uh..I mean..why is he in there?
Me: He has Autism.
HOTP: How severe is he? Does he need a lot of supervision? Is he a runner? Who was his teacher last year so I can talk to her to find out if we have to hire someone special to watch him?

And that's where the conversation gets more difficult....for me that is.

I don't exactly know how to classify B's Autism. Sometimes I wish there were a scale from 1-10 that you could just rattle off.  Or a system like the National Security Warning System that has everything nicely color coded and easy to understand. I could print it out on cards and give it to people at Sunday School or when we go to public play places.

Autism is such a complicated thing. I've heard people with Autism compared to snowflakes. No two alike..all special and unique. And of course, most of us in this club, have either heard or repeated the saying, "When you've met one person with Autism..then you've met one person with Autism."

I love when people ask me questions about Autism. I find it therapeutic to talk about B's challenges and triumphs. And for those of you who know me, know that there isn't too much that is a taboo topic with me. But the question of how "severe" he is always throws me off.

B can do puzzles like no one's business. One of the people at his daycare has said to me that he does everything with a purpose. He may not play with toys like others, but he's always doing something with them. Last week I got to see him line up his animals 2 by 2 across a long table and announce that it was an animal parade. I used to tell people that he wasn't verbal, but that's not true. Truth is, he's extremely verbal. To the point that he's ALWAYS making noise (and we can't hear the TV). Sometimes he's just humming and "doot doot-ing". A lot of the time he's recounting stories from Thomas or mentioning something about Busytown that he watched the day before (and the day before...and the day before...) His memory is amazing! I wish I could recall conversations and details that he observes.  But on the flip side, we have potty issues and problems following simple commands. At 5 he can't dress himself or trace letters. And then in other ways he's just like every other kid I know. He has tantrums when he wants something. he loves Oreos and tries to sneak sweets off the counter. I'm not going to dwell on what we haven't mastered  or just doesn't seem to get, but it's so frustrating!

So how do you answer that question easily? I usually laugh and just tell people that he's a "hot mess" and that we have come a long way. It's the truth. We have come an awful long way. (And before you get offended about the hot mess part..know that I'm the biggest hot mess I know!)  I can't wait to see how much further he goes.