The Strong Willed Mother

Pretty much every parent I know would love the ability to be in two places at once. To not have to make tough calls and split our time between family and work..or play..or our other children. Lately, I've really been struggling with this issue. So much so that it's causing me a lot of anxiety. My eyelids have even started their dancing (which from my work background, I know is either caused by stress or lack of sleep. How about both??)

B starts Kindergarten this year and it's a full day program. I'm really excited for him to start, but it leaves us up in the air for all his therapies. Currently he's getting 2 hrs of speech, 2 hrs of occupational therapy, an hour of physical therapy and an hour of behavioral therapy. There is no way that you can keep up with all of that if you're working full time. So far it's worked because these therapists are able to go into his daycare and see him there. But everything changes once you enter the world of public school.

And it's not like I have the choice to just not work. When B was born, our schedule at work went a little crazy, but gave me Monday's off. I took advantage of those as therapy days once we discovered that he had some issues. I've contacted his therapy office but there just really aren't enough therapists that work extended/after school hours. And I was pretty much told that those who did, were full, and those patients tended to hold on to those slots for dear life.

So as of now we're on waiting lists. I know that we'll at least get one hour of OT in the fall. But it's not enough. Not when you have a child who still can't answer basic questions, who can't sit for more than 10 min, who at 5 still can't use a fork or isn't potty trained. We need more. The more that I get him now, the better off he'll be in the future. I want to ensure the best life for my child that I can. I know that's so common to all parents, but it's more of a fight for me. I want B to have a job. I want him to have friends. I want his life to be as full and rewarding as possible. Without the team of people supporting him, it's really really hard.

I keep pushing. Keep writing emails, calling people, having conversations with my supervisor (who has been great and sympathetic). I loved the term "Warrior Mother" (until Jenny McCarthy ruined that for me). So maybe I'll coin the new term: "The Strong Willed Mother". If one thing doesn't work out, I have to tell myself that something else will. There has to be another way to get this accomplished. Maybe if  I repeat that to myself enough times the worry wont sneak in. Maybe my eyelids will finally stop jumping.